50 Clever Ways To Call Someone Stupid Without Actually Calling Them Stupid

These are 50 clever and witty ways you can imply that someone is an idiot without actually saying it out loud.

The list was inspired by an r/AskReddit thread.

Enjoy and deploy them carefully.

1. Intelligent thoughts have always followed you, but you are faster.

2. Unencumbered by the thought process.

3. Unhindered by any knowledge of the facts.

4. When it was raining brains, you had an umbrella.

5. At this point, you can only impress me.

6. I expected nothing, but I’m still disappointed.

7. Never mind, I’m sure you’re good at something.

8. I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong.

9. My opinion of you can only go up from here.

10. More foam than beer.

11. Having you around is like losing three good men.

12. You increse productivity because everyone else has to work harder when they’re around.

13. You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die.

14. You’re as quick as a glacier.

15. You’re about as sharp as a sock full of soup.

16. Useful as a chocolate teapot.

17. Keep them guessing, don’t open your mouth and prove them right.

18. You have different talents.

19. You’re just spare parts, aren’t you?

20. I’m guessing you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schooling.

21. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

22. I can explain it again, if you’d like, but I can’t understand for you.

23. He/she doesn’t have electricity on every floor.

24. The wheels spinning, but the hamsters dead.

25. If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

26. It’s impossible to underestimate you.

27. He’s hit rock bottom, and is showing signs of starting to dig.

28. Is there no beginning to your talents?

29. I underestimated you… but not enough.

30. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.